i really.. am at a loss. what am i supposed to do now? i don't think i would be able to handle losing two of the closest people to me at the same time. and while i am upset, i don't think it's worth ending friendships anyhow. well, more like, it's not worth ending these particular friendships over, because i love them both and they are important to me no matter how bad they made me feel. and by they, i mostly mean he.
mostly.
am i supposed to let time smooth things over? or is someone supposed to make a move? i hate waiting.

i am pretty sure i have never been this honestly confused before. i'd feel so much better if i could just get this fucking feeling out of my chest but i cant seem to put words to it no matter how hard i try, so it's just this pressure in my chest expanding outwards like a balloon choking me with its slick rubber teeth.

to kill or be killed.

past future

last five entries:
blisters and bruises - 03.18.08
dorsey - 03.13.07
finding peace - 02.02.07
unintentional clean slate - 09.11.06
natural born cyborg - 06.23.06