a few years ago i used to have a pair of jeans that i loved, and i would wear them every day. i have a problem finding jeans that fit me since my waist and height don't match up to normalcy, but these jeans.. they were perfect, or close enough. i had hand-decorated them myself, had spent hours removing studs from a belt and then reattaching them to the sides of my pants. i was not only proud of them, but felt good in them.

one day that summer, i went rollerblading with jenny in her neighborhood. this was still at the point where i refused to wear shorts and wore pants even when it was amazingly hot outside. i took a hill way too fast, and hit a patch of gravel. tiny spikes shot into my hands, arms, all over my body, as i fought to keep my head from meeting a bloody asphalt end. that's when i heard

rrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiip.

yes. my prized jeans, my beautiful work of art, had gotten a huge bloody hole in the knee. i still have a big circular scar on my knee from that fall, and so do the pants.

i took them home and examined them in the light of my bedroom. i patched the hole with duct tape, but those pants.. they were never the same again. i had to go out and buy some new ones. after some searching, i found some jeans that fit right and that i liked; not only that, but i liked them BETTER than my ruined pants because their cut was narrower and they were darker. i still missed my studded pants, but it was a good thing that i'd had to go out shopping, i suppose.

change is sometimes unpredictable and always inevitable. but i guess sometimes, it's for the better; and even when it isn't, there's not much you can do about it, so you might as well get as much wear out of those beautiful pants as you can right now and worry about the future later.

past future

last five entries:
blisters and bruises - 03.18.08
dorsey - 03.13.07
finding peace - 02.02.07
unintentional clean slate - 09.11.06
natural born cyborg - 06.23.06