i wrote this last january in devoure.

all i see is a girl wishing she was somehow good enough for the most amazing boy to grace her stagnant life knowing he is so far out of reach while still being so depressingly close by

and in august she will say to him we won't see each other again we are both going to college and i want to fall upon the sexual tension built between us like a magnificent wall and he will say i love you but not like that and she will feel crushed and know all her imperfect perfections by heart

later she will have forgotten all about him in her mind but not her heart for the heart never forgets a memory even while the brain has moved on to more recent events and she will find herself in the bed of some other boy laying with her head on his bare chest and she will remember that she was not good enough for a boy from the past and as his breath becomes deep and even and his eyelids droop to meet she will slide out from under the covers and silently dress to steal away in the night knowing she will never be just right

past future

last five entries:
blisters and bruises - 03.18.08
dorsey - 03.13.07
finding peace - 02.02.07
unintentional clean slate - 09.11.06
natural born cyborg - 06.23.06