all year in english i've been coasting along doing not much of anything. i have not tried hard on any papers because i don't care enough, and it's been clearly illustrated that my lack of caring has been the difference between an A and a B in the class. it doesn't bother me, really. although i love writing, english is not a class that excites me, and armed with the knowledge that i can do JUST ENOUGH and earn a B, i have been focusing my attention elsewhere in life.

i've got a research paper in my english 105 class that is due in a few weeks. for some reason, this time, i want to do it up. i want to go all out, i want to blow minds and cover all the bases and be proud enough to be able to say "i wrote a paper on why dashiell hammett's time as a pinkerton detective contributed greatly to the success and intrigue of his detective short stories" and know that i put a lot of work into it. i want to go out with a bang on this, the last straight-up english paper i'll ever have to write. and yet i'm still inviting joe up for the night knowing full well that i've got nothing resembling a rough draft beside the blinking cursor in microsoft word, still watching american idol with shadow man: the life of dashiell hammett closed beside me on the pillow. it's crunch time, mr kim, and i've got to pull through here. i just have a sinking feeling that my enthusiasm will end up becoming "can i just finish this already so i can go out and play?"

i mean, really though. who WOULD want to write a research paper when it's beautiful outside and there are roller coasters to ride and hands to hold and causes to march for and beaches to visit and jobs to obtain and friends to eat ice cream with beside a fountain in the city at night? summer, please stop taunting me. i've got to get through the next three weeks with some semblance of sanity.

past future

last five entries:
blisters and bruises - 03.18.08
dorsey - 03.13.07
finding peace - 02.02.07
unintentional clean slate - 09.11.06
natural born cyborg - 06.23.06